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  • Elaine Fletcher Chapman

A Constellation

This morning I planned for the Yoga Nidra Meditation class I am offering tonight. Thought about what we need: a safe place to rest. Tonight, do I need to add, “the front door of the studio is locked and secure”? In the aftermath of the recent shootings and all the others, we need rest. Divine Rest.

Before I had children I claimed to be a pacifist, anti-war protester. But once I became a mother, I realized I would do anything to save and protect my children and then to be honest, myself.  I have never supported the death penalty. Reproductive Rights and Equal Rights have been core issues when I choose candidates. On the dawning of this day,  the banning of automatic and semi-automatic weapons, war machines, is my number one issue and perhaps it should have been all along.

And while writing this I discover that Toni Morrison has died at the age of 88. Oh, we need her so. Personally, I have lost all but one of my literary teachers. We can only keep their words close to us. Read and reread. And then write.

Before this week I wanted to write about how our daily life was recently transformed by three deaths and three funerals in a week as my husband and I held vigils with families, sat with the dying, waited while bodies were removed, cried for ourselves and others. I wanted to write about boarding a plane to see our daughter, then sitting with her over meals and Mountain View Cemetery for the view. Then I wanted to write about flying back across country with three grandchildren and their visit for a week: how they love the Atlantic, our dog, waffles. How they refuse drinks served in styrofoam and straws. How they express gratitude for the smallest of gestures. And how the silence after they leave catches my breath and sends my soul into retreat. How my daughter calls me hours after they have left, knowing my sadness. How my son sends pictures of their continued journey as my husband and I continue with our work lives. The senseless deaths in El Paso and Dayton. The need for Gun Control.

Tonight at 7:00 pm this evening. Yoga Nidra Meditation. I will allow more time for people to develop their Inner Resource: a safe, secure place in their imaginations that is always available.

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